Wednesday, February 22, 2012

What to do when someone dominates the discussion?

You've probably had that person in your group.  You know the one.  They always have an answer and it takes them FOREVER to explain it along with several stories.  Or they just have a random thought that they feel the need to share with the entire group that has nothing to do with the topic.   There's also the person who tries to dominate by answering every question that group members ask, before you as a leader can respond.  Or they always talks over others in the group and even cuts them off.  So, what do you do?  How do you graciously deal with this brother or sister that can't seem to keep any control of their tongue?
    You could call them out in front of the entire group.  That would be effective!  Embarrass them in front of everyone, that would teach them a lesson!  But, then they would probably never come back again...  So, what's a better way?
One good piece of advice that I've heard is sit by the dominator.  When they set across from you, every time they make eye contact with you, they take that as their que.  When setting next to you that doesn't happen, and it enables you to make eye contact with the more quiet group members.  It also makes it possible for you, at the right moment, to be able to lean over and whisper, "help me get some more people involved in the conversation."
     My suggestion, if that doesn't work, is to politely talk with them one on one.  Pull them aside after a meeting, or maybe even take them to lunch (if they're the same gender) and help them understand the importance of letting everyone have an opportunity to talk.
    Now, if you read this and think, "Huh, I've never had a dominator in the group..."  Well, guess what?  It's probably YOU!

Matt T.