When my group won't talk...

One of the struggles of leading a group is when people won't talk. A group time has not been successful if you, as the leader, are the only one that said anything. People learn best in the context of discussion.

As a leader there are a few things to watch for. Are you asking good questions? Avoid the yes and no questions, rather key on feeling questions, or "what's your opinion on..." Also, give your group members some time to think. A little silence is OK if your giving them time to come up with an answer.

So what do you do when people still won't talk? The following video speaks to this:

One way we're trying to help is found on the sermon based studies that we are producing each week. The first section for your group is "Breaking the Sound Barrier". It's few simple questions that everyone in the group can answer. It helps get the talking started and helps launch a great discussion.  Also, we try to have the sermon based studies posted here on the leader blog by Thursday of each week so you as a leader can see it ahead of time and be able to prepare.

Get them talking!

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How To's of Small Groups

As we launch a new season of Groups this week, it might be good to have a few reminders. Some of you have seen these or heard these before.  You can find this and other helps in the Leaders Playbook.

How To’s of Small Groups

Eight qualities or skills of a good Group Leader:

1. Think Backwards

• Know what you want the group to walk away with
• Helps you keep on track

2. Keep working on the basics

• Arrive prepared
• Good eye contact
• Be able to say “I don’t know”
• Allow group members to pass on a questions

3. Establish Boundaries

• Boundaries let the group know what’s appropriate from the beginning
• What’s the purpose of this group? (Relational Vs Study)
• Other possible boundaries:
• Allow others to finish before someone else speaks
• Time Boundary (Start and End Times)
• Prayer requests – Ourselves & 1 for outside world (Helps stay away from gossip)

4. Ask Good Questions

• Avoid “Yes” or “No” questions
• 7 C’s of good questions
• Concise
• Complete
• Clear
• Connected
• Conversational
• Contestable – Open ended
• Challenging
• “Feeling” questions discover convictions

5. Talk Less

• Don’t fear silence
• Not time for lecture
• Members remember more about what they discuss than what they’re taught

6. Leave your group thinking

• Don’t have to provide answers for every question
• Can lead into next week

7. Flexible

• Know when it’s time to ditch the lesson
• Pray that God will help you be discerning of the problems of your group members

8. Show tangible signs of care

• Small groups counteract the bigness of the ministry
• You are the shepherd of a group of sheep
• Cards, emails, visits, phone calls

Small Group Leaders Are The Back Bone Of Our Ministry